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No Man Knows My Pastries:
The Secret (Not Sacred) Recipes of Sister Enid Christensen
Table of Contents

About the Author
A Note from Brother Christensen (Enid's special half)

Prelude
My Body is a Temple . . . Not a Visitor's Center!

Conversion Chart

There's Always Room for Jell-O Salad

    Banana Nut Jell-O Salad
    Jell-O Ribbon Loaf (A colorful and exciting snack for firesides!)
    Jell-O Birthday Surprise
    Frozen Jell-O Ambrosia
    Jell-O Fruit Dessert Elegant (Telestially Delicious!)
    Fig and Orange Jell-O Mold
    Celestial Jell-O Cheese Mold
    Lime Jell-O Salad

Miracle Whip of Forgiveness: Salads and Salad Dressings

    Joy Peach Salad
    Uncle Bruce's Fruit Dressing
    Taboo-li
    Artie's Choke Chicken Salad
    Fruit Salad Cocktail

In-Breads

    Mount of Olives Nut Bread (Matthew 24:3)
    I Knead Thee Every Hour Kolaches
    Sin-O-Men Rolls (Exceedingly Nummy!)
    A Marvelous Work with Wonder Bread
    Bubble Buns
    Jaredite Banana Boat Bread
    Mountain Meadows Muffins
    Poppycock Bread
    Pineapple Nut Bread (Served in the Luau Room in the Hawaiian temple!)

Cheeses of Nazareth: Appetizers and Dips

    Your Favorite Processed Cheese Dip
    Cheese Puffs
    Beefy Jerky
    Sugared Bacon Bits
    Cheese Zest Soup
    Clam Diggers Dip
    Temple Squares
    Moon Balls
    Pearl of Great Spice
    Shrimp Dip
    Bethle-Ham and Cheese Sandwiches
    Hot Hamburger Dip

Til We Meat Again

    Flaky Mormon Casserole
    Sweet and Sour Spam
    You-Can-Stuff-It French Bread Loaf
    Teriyaki Steak Sandwiches
    Sheep Dogs
    Bologna Angel Wings
    Sausage Soufflé
    Franked Corn Things
    Stuffed Hamburger Birds
    Spamway Multi-Level Casserole
    Stuffed Piggies
    Sweet and Sour Hot Dogs
    Jonah's Seafood Casserole
    Tuna à la King of Kings (Mark 6:41)
    Aloha Pizza Casserole

Let Freedom Ring!

    Pearls Before Swine
    Legislature Weenies
    Kolob Kebabs
    Adam's Barbecued Short Ribs
    The Perfect Juicy Beefburger (Can't touch this!)
    Secret Combination Plate (A platter to relish!)

Mock Cooking and Quick Foods

    Hush-ums (Baby sitter in a baggie!)
    Mock Oyster Dip
    Quick Mock Lasagna
    Mock Chicken Legs
    Lumpy Dick
    Mock Pecan Pie
    Mock Paté

Zucchini

Beverages (void of spirit)

    Mauve Wedding Punch (Guaranteed to match your bridesmaids' dresses!)
    Suppresso
    Gold and Green Balls
    Fireside Whizz
    Antelope Island Iced Tea
    Irish Postum
    Prune Julius
    Surely Temple
    Hot Veggie Punch
    Joseph and Emma's Afternoon Delight
    LeGrand Ricky
    Family Julep

Just Desserts

    Endow Mints
    Tomato Soup Cake
    Nephite and Lamanite Cookies
    Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake
    Sea Gulls
    Satan Food Cake
    Burning Bosoms
    Peach Magna
    Scripture Cake (A hidden treasure)
    Sweet Potato Balls
    Sugar Cube Temple (A theme treat!)
    Postum Frosting
    Ugly Duckling Cake
    Dump Cake

Acknowledgements
Favorite Recipes (notes)

Jell-O Fruit Dessert Elegant
Telestially delicious!

a small pkg. raspberry Jell-O
1 tbsp. sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1 10 oz. pkg. frozen raspberries, thawed
1 can crushed pineapple
1 cup sour cream
2 medium bananas
1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 cup chopped walnuts

I put my family in the right mood for this special dish by using a French accent on "daay-zer el-aye-gahnt." In addition to Jell-O, dissolve sugar and salt in 1 cup boiling water. Drain raspberries and pineapple, reserving 3/4 cup of the combined syrups. Resist the temptation to drink this before you add it to the gelatin. Chill until thick, whip until fluffy, and beat sour cream until smooth. When everything has reached its predestined state, fold in gelatin mixture. Then stir in fruits, marshmallows, and walnuts. Chill about 15 minutes. Stir and sppon into a 2-quart mold or bowl and chill until firm. Unmold and spoon into dessert dishes before serving. Makes 8-10 healthy and attractive servings. Bon appetite!

The Jell-O Belt

A Marvelous Work with Wonder Bread

1 egg
1/4 lb. softened butter
1 unsliced loaf, cut into 3" cubes, frozen
1 glass sharp cheddar cheese spread

Let's face it, white bread can be pretty boring, like living in Vernal, Utah. To spice it up, try this. Mix egg, butter, and cheese. Smother the bread cubes with the egg, butter, and cheese mix. Frost all sides except bottom. Bake at 325 degrees until golden brown. Serve with chicken or tuna fish salad.

Temple Squares

1 6 oz. jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and cut
1 lb. Monterey Jack cheese, grated
4 beaten eggs
1 lb. cooked, drained, crumbled bacon

Great canapés for Jewish weddings. We take them to Temple Square to enjoy while listening to General Conference, which is broadcast to picknickers outside.
Use an 8-inch pyrex pan sprayed with Pam. Spread artichokes in pan, spread cheese over top and sprinkle bacon on top of the cheese. Bake at 250 degrees for 45 minutes.

Kolob Kebabs

1 lb. liver, thinly sliced
4 slices bacon
1 cubed sweet pepper
8 small white onions
favorite barbecue sauce

Kolob is where Heavenly Father lives, and on his many visits to the Middle East, he must have had shish kebab (minus the pork).
Cut the live into 1-inch strips. Place bacon on a flat surface. Top each piece with 1 or 2 pieces of liver, threaded accordian-style on skewers along with pepp[ers and onions, alternating until the skewer is filled. Brush with barbecue sauce and grill on hot coals until bacon is crisp. Do not overcook.

Hide the Zucchini Bread
When you just don't know where to put it!

3 eggs
1 cup oil
1 tsp. soda
3 cups flour
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 cup walnuts, chopped
2 cups sugar
2 cups coarsely grated zucchini
3 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon

People who would never touch a raw zucchini devour it when it's camouflaged in bread. What a delicious, melt-in-your-mouth delicacy! Beat eggs until foamy. Add sugar, oil, vanilla, and zucchini. Mix well. Pour into 3 small greased bread pans. Bake at 350 degrees about 50 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Mormon Cooking

Antelope Island Iced Tea

1 diet Pepsi
1 diet Dr. Pepper
1 diet Mountain Dew
1 diet Coca-Cola

I feel so industrious when I sip this luxurious drink. Mix and serve over ice in tall glasses with a twist of lemon. It's almost as potent as the real thing.

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